


It's Like That

by addledwalrus



Series: Those Darn Kids! [7]
Category: Original Work
Genre: 1970s, 1990s, 90's Music, Abusive Parents, Adolescent Sexuality, Affection, Anger, Asian Character(s), Asian-American Character, Babies, Baby Names, Bad English, Big Brothers, Bilingual, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brothers, Business, Cameras, Celebrations, Character Development, Childbirth, Cleaning, Clothing, Coming of Age, Computers, Conspiracy Theories, Criticism, Crying, Cultural References, Culture Shock, Curiosity, Cute, Dancing, Dark Comedy, Daughters, Decisions, Desperation, Difficult Decisions, Disappointment, Dismemberment, Eating, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotions, Explicit Language, Family, Family Bonding, Family Dinners, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Family History, Family Issues, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Fear, Financial Issues, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Generation Gap, Grandchildren, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Harm to Animals, High School, Historical References, Homework, Hormones, Horny Teenagers, Hospitalization, Hospitals, House Cleaning, Hugs, Humor, Hypocrisy, Immigration & Emigration, Immorality, Innocence, Jealousy, Korean Characters, Korean Religion & Lore, Korean-American Character, Language Barrier, Laundry, Letters, Lies, Lists, Little Sisters, Love, Male Friendship, Marriage, Mathematics, Memories, Men Crying, Mental Breakdown, Mild Sexual Content, Mistakes, Money, Moral Lessons, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Motherhood, Names, Nepotism, Newborn Children, Objectification, One-Sided Attraction, Paranoia, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Parody, Personal Growth, Photographs, Photography, Pop Culture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Presents, Pride, Protectiveness, Punishment, Racism, Racist Language, Realization, References to Dragon Ball-Z, Reminiscing, Resentment, Responsibility, Rituals, Rivalry, Secrets, Sexism, Shame, Shock, Shoplifting, Shopping Malls, Sibling Bonding, Siblings, Smile, Smoking, Staring, Storytelling, Studying, Suspicions, Talking, Tears, Teen Angst, Teenage Rebellion, Teenagers, Theft, Threats, Trauma, Tributes, Tutoring, Unplanned Pregnancy, Verbal Abuse, Video & Computer Games, Violence, Work, Workplace Relationship, Xenophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-06-22 15:51:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15585339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addledwalrus/pseuds/addledwalrus
Summary: A Korean teenager rebels against his immigrant parents in the late 1990s.





	1. Meet the Family

Pak Gwang-seok, or Glenn Park as he was better known to the English speaking world, was the only son of dry cleaning service proprietors Dong-geun and Nam-seon. Dong-geun had immigrated in 1979, the same year that Nam-seon's family bought the establishment from an elderly Italian couple about to go into retirement.

The addition of Dong-geun as a worker was welcomed by Nam-seon's parents and in response to the behest of the latter, they dated for a year before becoming engaged in 1980 and getting married in 1981.

Circumstances gradually pushed Dong-geun and Nam-seon to the forefront of the family business shortly as the daily work eventually became too taxing for the latter's aging mother and father.

The hiring of new staff members to fill the positions once belonging to Glenn's parents began when he was around eight years of age. A pool of thirty candidates was whittled down to two middle aged women whom happened to be old friends of Nam-seon.

On a typical day, Nam-seon would be stationed at the front to deal with customers while the other two women cleaned and carried out minor repairs behind the scenes. Dong-geun was in charge of bookkeeping and budgeting, along with the parental responsibility of making sure his son's homework was always completed to the utmost quality.

This structure remained unchanged until Glenn was fourteen, when his mother began falling victim to frequent bouts of exhaustion and moodiness. He complained about the sudden change in her behavior to his father, which prompted a weekend trip to the doctor that quickly cleared things up.

Nam-seon had become pregnant and the news of was met with much panic from Glenn's grandparents, for they had simply never heard of a woman her age being able to bear children without complications.

She stubbornly insisted that she'd power through it and continue working, though Dong-geun was able to convince her after much debate that it would be better for everyone if she took it easy and let others take over for the next nine months.

Nam-seon agreed, but not before demanding that at least another person be hired to make up for her absence and reduce the chance of jobs going undone due to a lack of staff.


	2. School Day

**1996**

Glenn was overwhelmed by a sense of uncertainty when he returned to school the week after learning of Nam-seon's pregnancy.

It seemed like life as he knew it would soon be overturned forever and the prospect filled him with anxiety that could only be shrunk by talking to a close friend.

Kenneth had saved an empty seat for him in the cafeteria at lunchtime and he sat down whilst averting his eyes from the other students present.

It was common practice for everyone of East Asian descent to cluster together around the same couple of tables, regardless of how well they actually got along out in the hallways and schoolyard.

Glenn always assumed it had something to do with the idea of safety in numbers, for to the eyes of a complete outsider, it probably made them seem like some large family or gang.

This theory was supported by the fact that he and Kenneth were frequently mistaken for brothers, despite the latter's family being from Taiwan, a land with a vastly different culture and official language from Korea.

However, their long-term but accidental friendship forced Glenn to once again put aside any perceived differences that existed between the two of them.

"Thanks for saving this seat for me..." He said in gratitude before reaching out so that they could perform the abridged version of a special handshake they had created as bored ten-year-olds.

It attracted some looks of disbelief from those nearby and one girl rolled her eyes at the impractical ritual.

"There's something I really need to talk about. It's pretty shocking, so I thought I'd warn you first." Glenn spoke up after most of the initial chatter had died down and everyone else was busy eating.

"More shocking than the time your grandpa brought an entire pig carcass home?"

Glenn gagged upon being reminded of that traumatic day. His grandparents had taken turns chopping the animal's body into pieces that would fit in the fridge and each thunk of the cleaver had made his stomach turn.

The pig's perpetually smiling face had greeted him twice a day for a whole fortnight afterwards, whenever his mother went to grab some kimchi for breakfast or dinner.

"Glenn, are you okay? You're zoning out..."

"Wh-what?" Glenn stammered as he snapped back to the present. He remembered what he was supposed to be worried about and continued from there.

"Way worse. It'll be an actual human being this time. A tiny, smelly, _living_ human being..."

Kenneth's face went completely blank as he figured out what his friend was trying to say.

"How old is your Mom again?"

"Thirty-seven."

"That's way too old to have another kid..."

"I know. But think about what it will mean for _me_. I'm fourteen. I should be looking forward to parties and getting a girlfriend, not being stuck at home babysitting..."

"I thought you had grandparents..."

"Yeah. But trust me, Mom will find a way to get me involved. She always does..."

"Hey..." Kenneth said in a reassuring tone. "I read in a book once that the chance of miscarriage is about fifty per-cent for women over thirty-five."

"But that's the thing. It might not happen..." Glenn countered before he suddenly realized another factor that would affect his level of freedom. "...I hope to God it won't be a boy. I could get away with not being around if it's a girl, because otherwise she'd pick things up from me and turn into what my Mom hates most: a tomboy."


	3. Designer T-shirt

"Son, I need your help." Dong-geun announced as he pushed the door open and marched straight into Glenn's room without knocking. The sudden entry drove Glenn into a panic and switch from a game of  _Minesweeper_ back to the book report he'd been typing up for English class.

"What, Dad?" Glenn then replied, turning around to face his father while trying to look innocent. He uttered a prayer in his mind that the man hadn't noticed the quick change in programs.

"I need you to type this up for me in English. Your mother wants me to hire new people."

A piece of paper with messy Hangul letters scrawled all over was placed on the table beside Glenn and he craned his neck to begin deciphering what it meant. He attended Korean school on Saturday mornings but his reading level was still only equivalent to that expected of an elementary school student in the old country.

"Um..." He said hesitantly, knowing it would take quite some time. "...Could you give me an hour?"

Dong-geun just glared at him in suspicion before complying. Glenn breathed in relief once his father was gone, then went and retrieved a bilingual dictionary that would hopefully make the job easier.

He was done fourteen minutes short of the time-limit and observed the finished translation with a smile.

_Employees Needed_

_You must be hardworking and willing to learn. Fluency in Korean and English is required._

_If interested, please apply within or call the following number..._

Glenn found a certain detail in the job advertisement to be a little discriminatory, though he could understand how daunting it was for his parents to have to work with people they still perceived as foreigners, as if they weren't the ones belonging to a distinct ethnic minority.

* * *

Glenn threw his backpack to the floor upon returning home from Saturday school and the sound startled his grandparents, whom were busy setting lunch on the table.

They urged him to sit down first by reasoning that he needed more nutrition as a growing boy.

He obeyed without question while remembering how focused they'd both been when dismembering the poor dead pig from the market. It wouldn't have surprised him if it were revealed that they'd done similarly brutal things in their youth to survive the horrors of war.

"Gwang-seok, I have something for you..." His grandmother said later that afternoon with a good-natured smile as he sat beside her watching infomercials.

He walked over to the couch and she hurriedly fished a twenty dollar note from underneath a cushion before handing it to him.

"Save this money so you can buy important things in the future..."

"Thanks, grandma..." He replied in Korean, then tucked it into the pocket of his shorts so that he could go check on grandpa.

He found the elderly man in the garden watering shallions and the latter turned around to greet him with similar good will.

"Grandson, here's twenty dollars...use it wisely."

Glenn took the money in excitement and couldn't wait to spend his forty dollars on things he really wanted. He assumed that this was his grandparents' way of giving him a taste of independence, so dared not tell his parents about any of it.

* * *

Glenn took a bus to the local shopping mall the following week in the hope of finding Tupac Shakur's latest album  _All Eyez on Me_. He greatly admired the rapper for being unafraid to address serious societal problems, though his love of hip-hop was something he often went to great lengths to keep secret.

He found said album in a music store then picked out something more family-friendly for the sake of swapping the contents. He headed to the checkout while feeling sympathy for whomever would be affected by his dishonesty.

The cashier seemed to sense that something wasn't right, but let him leave anyway with what appeared to be Celine Dion's  _Falling into You_.

He walked on through the mall until a display in a clothing shop window caught his eye. There was a sale going on and one of the discounted items happened to be a DKNY t-shirt that he rather liked the look of.

He went in and took it off the rack, only to find that he didn't have enough money left to buy it. Still, he thought of what the popular kids wore at school and wanted desperately to have something nice as well for once, regardless of what his parents thought.

A daring possibility became apparent and he entered one of the fitting rooms to change clothes before coming out with the DKNY t-shirt hidden beneath his jacket.

He tread cautiously out of the store and to his surprise, no alarms went off to signal that a possible theft was occurring.


	4. New Girl

Nam-seon placed a hand to her swollen belly in paranoia, fearing that any absence of response was a sign that the child inside was no more. She tried to tell herself that the feeling was irrational, though the fact that no other woman in the history of the Baek family had ever successfully given birth at her age wasn't comforting at all.

Seeing that Dong-geun was busy at work, her parents were out shopping, and Glenn was at school, she realized that it was the perfect time to do some cleaning without anyone flying into a panic over her apparent fragile state of health.

She went to get the vacuum cleaner and was able to plug it into the nearest outlet while in a sitting position. She then stood back up and slowly got to work making sure that the living room floor was free of all dust, before continuing to her son's room.

She'd forced him to clean the place up just two days prior, yet it was obvious upon entering that he had done a mediocre job indeed. Either that, or his utter disregard for tidiness had resulted in the room quickly falling back into chaos.

 _"He is fourteen. Fourteen! In two years, he will start looking at girls and what will happen then?"_ She thought in disgust, tossing stray items of clothing on to her son's bed to get them out of the way before the sight of a t-shirt that she didn't remember purchasing caught her eye.

She picked it up and squinted her eyes to read the four consonants printed on the front of the shirt. The combined letters somewhat resembled a familiar English word, so she used that as a reference while deciphering the bold logo.

* * *

Glenn returned home after school to find that his grandparents had once again started preparing for dinner early, while his mother was sitting in front of the television and taking it easy just as advised.

He made a quick rush for his bedroom in the hope that no one would catch him, but it was too late. Nam-seon straightened up a little upon the sofa and turned to glare straight at him in disappointment.

Her face said it all and he stopped in fear before she beckoned him over with a shake of the head.

"Mom, what's going on?" He asked while averting his eyes and trying to keep a straight face.

"Pak Gwang-seok..." She spoke up sternly, using his full birth name for emphasis. "...where did you get that 'Donkey' shirt?"

Glenn took a step back in confusion.

"Donkey shirt? What are you talking about?"

Nam-seon sighed impatiently and asked him to bring a pen and paper. He took a quick trip to his room then came running back while feeling no less anxious about the situation.

She took the piece of paper and printed the letters 'DKNY' before showing them to Glenn. His eyes widened in horror as he swallowed deeply.

"I... I got it from a friend..."

"Which friend?"

"Um, Vivian?"

"Who is Vivian?"

"A girl in my class?"

"Why do you have a girl's shirt?"

"Mom, it's a long story that you don't want to know." Glenn said firmly, unable to handle the tension anymore. He yanked the piece of paper out of his mother's hand before storming off to seek refuge in his room.

He slammed the door behind him and spent the next few minutes deciding on an appropriate course of action, now that it was clear his mother was on to him. He decided to make his alibi come true by approaching classmate Vivian the very next day and giving her the shoplifted t-shirt as a special gift.

_"I need to have a good reason. Maybe I'll say that it would look a lot better on her, since she's vain like that..."_

* * *

It turned out that the mere sight of a DKNY logo was enough to tempt the shallow Vivian and she'd accepted the 'gift' without bothering to check which gender the t-shirt had been manufactured for.

The close call left Glenn feeling quite smug while he completed homework out the back of the dry cleaner's one Sunday afternoon. He could hear his father trying to make small talk with a customer, just as a curtain was drawn and an already familiar young woman entered to have lunch.

It was Yeonha, a new employee whom it turned out was also the nineteen-year-old daughter of one of Dong-geun's old friends. She was indifferent to his presence as she went to grab her bag and take out a two-minute noodle cup.

Glenn straightened up and craned his neck the moment she went to fill the cup with boiling water from a kettle. Plain face aside, she had quite a nice figure that was emphasized particularly well by her high waisted jeans.

He pretended to focus intently on his homework when Yeonha sat down to start eating, however the slurping sounds she made while ingesting her noodles soon proved to be distracting indeed.

He resisted the urge to complain and instead made a mental note to be wary of loud eaters when the time came for him to start finding a girlfriend.


	5. Second-Rate

Glenn scanned the page of completed quadratic equations a third time while seated adjacent to Yeonha during her short break. He worked through each one backwards and was so concentrated on the numbers that he didn't notice her looking over.

"Four and ten are wrong." She stated after no less than twenty seconds, then went back to reading her magazine.

It took Glenn a moment to realize what she'd said. He frowned while beginning to feel quite bitter about his mistakes being pointed out so casually.

"Yeah. So what?" He muttered in defiance, turning the page over. "My homework is none of your business."

"It is now. You got two questions out of fifteen wrong. That's not good at all."

"Who do you think you are? My Dad?"

"No. But if you ever need a tutor, just talk to him and he'll give me a call..."

Glenn was now furious. He stood up from the table and made a point of slamming his chair forwards, before walking off to stuff his homework back in his bag.

"I don't need any more help. I'm fine the way I am now!"

Yeonha simply shook her head in disappointment before whispering discreetly to herself.

"Just you wait, little Mister Arrogant..."

* * *

All Glenn could think about on Saturday night was Yeonha's covert threat. He started to wonder if she'd been aware of his peeping and was now getting revenge, though that theory seemed unlikely due to how counterproductive such a plan was.

Whatever her motives were, he found himself unable to focus on schoolwork at the moment and decided to procrastinate by playing computer games instead.

He was about to start heading to his room, when his Dad and grandparents marched out of the house's storeroom one-by-one carrying various old items.

They made their way to the garage before he overheard his mother protesting that a box of her old clothes be returned to the room.

Glenn swallowed while hoping that the hand-me-downs wouldn't be saved for any sister he might have.

* * *

A couple of Nam-seon's friends visited on Sunday evening and the three women quickly settled in the living room to drink tea while she tried to hoard most of the snacks for herself.

They presented diapers and powdered milk as gifts for the future baby, which Nam-seon accepted with false gratitude due to the overwhelmingly large stockpile she already had.

Conversation about the unborn child soon turned to the subject of Glenn's current position in life. Both friends demanded to see how much he'd grown and Nam-seon obliged by calling him downstairs.

He arrived in no time and immediately felt two pairs of critical eyes upon him. He dared not blink as his mother's friends sized him up.

"He's too skinny, you need to feed him more..."

"He has small eyes just like his father. Maybe the next child will look more like you..."

"Look at his posture. Tell him to stand up straight..."

The words got to Glenn and he wanted to go back upstairs, but his mother had other ideas.

"Where are you going? Come and talk to them. They want to know more about you..."

He reluctantly trudged over to sit beside one of the women while trying to forget his diminished pride and ignore the stench of cheap perfume.

He soon found himself preferring his mother's more natural appearance over the penciled eyebrows and dark red lipstick of the person leaning in uncomfortably close.

* * *

Glenn hoped that the start of a new school year would be a nice change and that proved to largely be the case until the day he and Kenneth compared their results from a math test.

He'd displayed his paper first to reveal a score of ninety-five percent, before Kenneth showed off his.

"Ninety-eight percent." The other boy said apathetically as if near-perfect marks weren't something to be proud of. "So close..."

"Maybe next time..." Glenn attempted to reassure, despite the feeling of resentment arising inside him. The three percent difference felt larger than it really was and he didn't want to be shown up again, not even by a so-called friend.

The additional fear of being criticized by his father prompted him to remember Yeonha's offer and consider taking her up on it.


	6. Everything but the Girl

Yeonha offered to drive him home after the hour of tutoring was over and his father hadn't arrived. Glenn reluctantly agreed while remembering how Dong-geun had told him to treat the nineteen-year-old as a surrogate older sister.

He got in the car with her at ten past eight and they sat together in awkward silence before she sought to break the tension by turning on the radio.

"So, what sort of music do you like?" She asked hesitantly while adjusting the dial.

Glenn didn't really feel like answering, so she settled for a typically harmless pop music station. She wondered if there was some mistake upon hearing the DJ speak in a grave tone of voice.

Almost immediately, Glenn raised his head to listen, for he was also starting to have a rather unpleasant feeling.

_"We dedicate this next song to..."_

The two of them heard the familiar name and Yeonha's face went blank while Glenn suddenly felt as if the air had been knocked out of him. They both turned to stare quietly at each other in disbelief before a hip-hop track with poignant, uncensored lyrics began to play.

* * *

Glenn's heart sank when his second math test for the term was handed back with a result of eighty-nine percent. He flipped the paper over in shame and quickly glanced around at his classmates in the hope that somebody would come to offer reassurance, but nobody did.

He gave his teacher a look of uncertainty then shoved the test into his schoolbag in resignation. He marched slowly out of the classroom and halfway back to his locker, stopped hesitantly near a waste container.

After a full minute of consideration, he retrieved the marked test and stared one last time at the score before scrunching it up with some effort. He dropped it down among the other pieces of garbage just as another student rather carelessly pushed past him on their way.

He glared at them in exasperation, though they were none the wiser to his plight.

_"What am I supposed to do now?"_

He couldn't help but wonder if Yeonha would forgive his lack of progress the next time they met, despite her equally shocked reaction to the grim news. A part of him hoped fervently that she would understand and it was enough to motivate him to finally get moving again.

_"You have to get over this. There isn't always a second chance..."_

* * *

Life went on as usual for a week or so, with Dong-geun being too busy to ask him about his recent grades and Nam-seon coping remarkably well with her pregnancy.

Glenn stayed home one Sunday afternoon, seven months since hearing the news that he would receive a new sibling. His parents had gone to the hospital to acquire the results of an ultrasound and there was an unusual air of solemnity as he ate lunch with his grandparents.

"Have some more spinach. It's good for you..." His grandmother said in a hushed tone as she rose to pile more of the leafy green vegetable in his bowl, despite his diminishing appetite.

She soon sat back down and tried to enjoy her meal in silence, before the lack of conversation proved too disconcerting for someone whom was accustomed to much liveliness at the dining table.

"Young-sik..." She began, referring to her husband by his real name. "Do you remember when we first met?"

Glenn's grandfather lowered his chopsticks before smiling affectionately at his wife of just over forty years.

"Of course I do..."

Glenn grew uncomfortable as his grandparents became focused on remembering their youth. He wasn't at all in the mood to hear about how his grandfather had been lucky enough to only be conscripted during the final months of the war, as well as how narrowly his grandmother and a few others had avoided being shot for their alleged Communist ties.


	7. Face the Music

**1980**

_"Could you hand me one, too?"_

_Dong-geun was rather surprised to hear Nam-seon make such a request. With her modest appearance, she didn't strike him as the sort of person to smoke, though he relented at the sight of her expectant eyes and stretched out hand._

_He held out the entire pack so that she could take her pick before slipping it back into his coat pocket. She allowed him to light the cigarette for her as well, then inched a little closer while two trails of smoke trailed through the cold air and quickly dissipated._

_They continued walking along the quiet street moments later with Nam-seon opting to simply drop her cigarette to the ground when there were no trashcans in sight. A disco song playing from the window of a nondescript building caught her attention and she came to a stop._

_There seemed to be nobody else around but her and Dong-geun, so she slowly gave in to a long suppressed wish to dance however she pleased. She took a step back to twirl with arms outstretched, something which briefly prompted Dong-geun to stare in confusion._

_It wasn't long before he became aware of the music too. The way Nam-seon moved brought to mind a specific moment from his childhood, when he and his brother couldn't help but dance upon hearing a song performed by famed guitarist Shin Jung-hyeon and singer Kim Chu-ja._

_He stepped forward to join Nam-seon and they lost regard for their surroundings until the honk of a passing car stunned them both._

_"Go back to your own country!" The driver yelled while deliberately slowing down to raise his middle finger. "Bloody chinks..."_

* * *

**1997**

"Where do you think you're going, kid?" A stern voice boomed soon after an alarm was triggered by the pair of sunglasses hidden in Glenn's pants pocket. "Step away from the door right now..."

Glenn turned to face the store owner and froze upon seeing the anger in the man's eyes.

_"Shit..."_

He took anxious steps up toward the checkout and slowly surrendered the sunglasses in fear. He craned his neck to look up at the man while realizing that his best option was to play it off as just a mistake.

"So-sorry, I forgot..."

He slipped a hand into his other pocket before remembering that he'd brought nowhere near enough money along. His heart sank as he then held out empty hands for the man to see.

"So that's how it is? How old are you, son?"

"Twelve..." Glenn lied while averting his eyes.

"Twelve, huh?" The man remarked. "Well, I don't care if you're a minor. You're going to stay here until I call the right person...where are your parents?"

"At...at home..."

"Tell me their number."

"Um..."

Glenn bunched up his fists and swallowed before shakily reciting the number of the dry cleaners to the man. The latter's eyebrows rose in recognition and for a moment, Glenn believed that he'd be let go, but his hopes were quickly crushed.

He was made to spend the next twenty or so minutes sitting helplessly near the fitting room until a familiar car passed by outside.

Dong-geun soon entered through the doors and as if putting on a mask, his frustrated expression instantly transformed to one of innocent bewilderment.

"What my son do wrong?" He asked the store owner flatly while feigning complete ignorance of the situation.

"I caught him trying to steal a pair of sunglasses. That's illegal...do you know what that means?"

"Ah... not know..."

Glenn could only shake his head at how blatantly Dong-geun was degrading himself, like a peasant grovelling at the feet of a king. He proceeded to bury his face in his hands while mentally praying for the negotiation to be over quickly.

"It means 'against the law'. Do you understand?"

"Ah, yes..."

"I'll let you take him home, since it's the first time. But if this happens again, I'm calling the cops..."

The store owner made a gesture that was supposed to represent the slamming of a cell door and Glenn suddenly felt sick in his stomach.

* * *

Dong-geun finally let his anger out when they arrived home that evening. He grabbed Glenn forcibly by the wrist before the latter could react and shoved him toward the nearest empty chair.

"Sit down!"

Glenn obeyed and stared down at the floor in shame as his father began to lecture.

"I am very, very disappointed. You're fifteen, that's three years away from-"

"Dad!" Glenn found himself crying out desperately upon hearing his own father forget how old he was. "I'm still fourteen! My birthday is in March!"

"Shut up, you're fifteen to me!" Dong-geun snapped in response, slamming his left hand down upon pointing accusingly with his right. "You cannot act like a child anymore!"

Glenn trembled and felt a tear roll down his cheek.

"Your mother has to go to the hospital next week. Your grandparents sacrifice so much energy to take care of you. I have to work twice as hard now and I can barely sleep at night!"

"Dad..."

"You're going to be an older brother in less than ten days. You need to set an example, so start acting like an adult, please!"

"But-"

"There is no excuse for what you did! If you were eighteen, the police would have come to arrest you and put you in jail without question, just like they almost did to-"

Dong-geun forced himself to stop mid-sentence before holding his head in both hands and beginning to sob, much to Glenn's confusion.

"Um...what's happening?" He asked hesitantly, for it had always seemed that his father was incapable of emotions such as sadness and grief.

It made him feel uncomfortable beyond words to see the thirty-eight-year-old break down in tears like this, though it became apparent that Dong-geun was doing his best to push traumatic memories back in at the same time they tried to burst out.

This all amounted to a sight that left Glenn with an aching heart as he started to reflect on why he'd felt the need to act out in such a drastic way.


	8. Fly Like an Eagle

"You've done it. It's a girl."

Nam-seon was just barely able to comprehend the words as her pain began to subside and exhaustion took over. She gazed weakly at the nurse while they picked up the infant for an evaluation and for a moment, she feared that her new child was being taken away for good.

She shifted as much as her body would allow her before Dong-geun's hand rested upon her shoulder.

"It's alright. I'm watching them..." He said quietly, then raised his head to get a better look at their new daughter.

"What are they doing?"

"They're...they're checking if she's healthy..."

Nam-seon smiled in relief when a long and shrill cry drowned out all other noise in the room. The nurse turned around to place the baby upon her chest and her heart soared.

Shiny black eyes opened ever so slightly in response upon contact. Nam-seon couldn't contain her protective urges anymore as she placed a hand gently against the baby's head and remembered the day that Glenn had been born. He'd been a little larger than this new addition to the family, though his cries had never been as loud.

"She's so tiny. She needs me..." Nam-seon blubbered as tears of happiness and adoration began to flow freely.

" _Us_." Dong-geun quickly corrected while unable to resist beaming in wonder at his wife and child. "I'm here too..."

* * *

Glenn was still torn between guilt over his attempted shoplifting and anticipation for his new sibling while at Saturday school. He did not react immediately when Mrs Jung came to his desk to request the previous week's homework, at which point it took a few calls of his name to bring him back to the present.

"Gwang-seok, haven't you finished it?"

"What? I have..."

He ignored the cryptic stares of his classmates while pulling the stapled pages out of his folder. Mrs Jung took it before methodically making her way around the other students until she was back near the whiteboard.

"Alright. I want you all to open up to page 63 and start reading the passage aloud."

Glenn turned to said page in the textbook and found himself staring down at a biographical piece about Im Kkeokjeong, the inspiration for ubiquitous fictional outlaw Hong Gildong.

He joined everyone else in reciting the words while finding it hard to believe that the country that his grandparents had left could have also produced such a Robin Hood-like individual.

* * *

"So, grandson, how was school today?" Grandma Chun-ja asked Glenn when he came straight home in the afternoon, now reluctant to go to the shopping mall after the clothing store incident.

"It was okay." He replied apathetically while shrugging off his schoolbag and dodging her attempt to adjust the collar of his jacket.

He ran straight upstairs to his room because she could ask about what he'd learned, so that he could sit down and listen to some music as a way of enjoying his last day as an only child.

The phone call came just before it was time to have dinner. Grandpa Young-sik was quicker to reach the phone and it took no less than a minute for the voice on the other end to deliver the exciting news.

"Sook-ja!" The old man cried ecstatically, letting the receiver drop on to the bench without a second thought. "It's happened! We have a granddaughter!"

Glenn choked on his food as his grandmother immediately stood up to wrap both arms around his grandfather in a celebratory hug, before the two of them started jumping and wailing in joy like energetic young children.

This was followed by him being pulled from his chair so that they could take turns grabbing his hands and gushing over how it seemed only yesterday that he was also a helpless, bawling infant.

* * *

A worn-out but smiling Dong-geun came in the evening to drive them to the hospital. Glenn sat in the back with his grandmother while finding it a surprise that he suddenly felt rather detached from the whole situation.

His grandparents and father could not stop talking for the entire trip, but all that he could muster was a slight smile that made it seem like he was also looking forward to the visit.

They were directed to Nam-seon's room in the maternity ward after checking in at reception. Glenn took a deep breath to compose himself before following the three adults inside.

There lay his mother on the bed, cradling his swaddled three-day old sister. He opted to stand back while they doted and very carefully took turns holding the baby.

"Gwang-seok..." Nam-seon spoke up when she noticed that he was keeping his distance. "Don't you want to look at her? She's very cute..."

Glenn stared ahead in hesitation before slowly getting up to approach the bed. A loud screech sounded, and he froze upon finally meeting his new sibling.

Large black eyes and a patch of fuzzy hair were the first things he noticed, followed by a wrinkly pink hand that had managed to find its way out of the blanket.

He smiled without realizing as a look of pride became apparent on his mother's face.

"You're a big brother now. Her name is Gwang-hee, but we thought that you could choose an English one for when she starts school. Can you do it?"

"I... I guess I can..." Glenn replied without breaking eye contact.

* * *

 _"Gwang-hee, Gwang-hee..."_ Glenn repeated to himself while sitting upon his bed and trying to think of English names that sounded remotely similar. The only one that came to mind however was 'Gwen' and since it would be an embarrassing choice, he realized that a different approach was needed.

He wrote a list of names that happened to somewhat rhyme and placed it aside before leaving his room to seek out Nam-seon.

It turned out that she was in the bathroom changing the baby's diaper, at which point he quickly ducked back out with the intention of getting away from the smell.

He waited until they both emerged a few minutes later to make his request.

"Mom, think of a number between one and ten."

"Why? What kind of game is this?"

"Just do it, please?"

"Alright..." Nam-seon agreed reluctantly, her patience fading as Gwang-hee began to cry again from hunger. "Nine..."

"Okay, thanks!"

Glenn rushed back to his room and looked at the list again. He ran his finger down the page until it reached the name corresponding to the number his mother had chosen.

_"Well, 'Stephanie' it is..."_


	9. One Hundred Days

_"Enjoy being a baby while you can. When you get to be my age, it's going to be all study and no play..."_

Gwang-hee stared up at her brother with shiny eyes before gurgling and batting tiny hands at thin air. He sighed and stepped away as his mother came forward with a camera.

_"It's going to be years before we even understand each other. Why bother?"_

Of course, telepathy was the last ability he expected a three-month-old baby girl to have, when she was still a long way from saying intelligible words. It didn't matter to his parents though. They were both head-over-heels in love with this new addition to the family, as evidenced by the way Nam-seon's voice was full of affection.

"Smile for Mommy! That's it, such a cutie! Tee hee!"

"Hey, give me the camera. It's my turn!" Dong-geun chimed in, prompting his wife to reluctantly hand it over. He took it with glee and was soon snapping away.

Gwang-hee gave a spirited little laugh and it encouraged her father to take more photos until he was satisfied. Nam-seon decided to let her husband have his fun. She turned around and upon observing the apathetic look on Glenn's face, said the first thing she thought would cheer him up.

"You don't remember, but we did the same when you were her age."

Glenn didn't feel like replying, so he left his mother's side and started making his way out of the living room. He noticed his grandfather sitting on the couch while recounting a war story to a group that included Yeonha and overheard a rather gruesome detail.

"...and when I rolled his body over, I found that his face was completely gone! I couldn't tell how old he'd been!"

"Oh my God!" Yeonha gasped as she placed a hand to her mouth to display shock.

Glenn stopped in his tracks and stared at his grandfather in horror.

"Grandpa, you can't tell people stories like that at a party! It's gross!"

Grandpa Young-sik frowned back at him like he was the crazy one while crossing both arms.

"Grandson, you are too sheltered. I only talk about these things so young people like you can learn to appreciate life. You are lucky to have never seen a dead body..."

Glenn felt nauseous and clutched his stomach tightly before running out of the room to find relief elsewhere. He was now certain that his grandparents were downright insane and it didn't make him feel grateful at all.

* * *

"Buh...buh..." Gwang-hee uttered desperately with tears in her eyes after failing several times to climb the couch that Glenn was sitting on. The sad sound prompted him to finally give her some attention and he reluctantly leaned over to help.

"I guess you deserve it for trying..." He muttered apathetically while lifting her up and placing her beside him. "Now stay here and don't move..."

She immediately did the opposite by crawling toward the other end of the couch and looking over the edge.

"Hey, what are you doing? You're going to fall off!"

He grabbed the seven-month-old and forced her back into a sitting position before realizing that she was going to need some kind of distraction. He saw her rattle lying a few feet away and made a rush for it while hoping she wouldn't take advantage of his brief absence.

He quickly returned to the couch and prised her fingers apart in order to fit the rattle in her hand. She looked rather bewildered the moment that he let go, but began shaking the toy anyway to entertain herself.

_"So far, so good..."_

Glenn turned back to face the television screen just in time for the commercial break to end and his current favorite show to resume. A muscular man with spiky black hair screamed in a hot-blooded manner.

The sounds and bright colors caught Gwang-hee's interest and she dropped her rattle. Glenn noticed through the corner of his eye and his heart sank.

_"Oh no. Not again..."_

She let out a gurgle while staring wide-eyed as if the cartoon was too much for her infant brain to process. Glenn found himself pitying her inability to understand the world and couldn't help explaining things despite knowing that it was pointless.

"You're watching Dragon Ball-Z. It's a show about an alien race called  _Saiyans_. Can you say 'Saiyans'?"

"Dora." Gwang-hee said out of nowhere before carelessly tugging at his pants.

He blinked in surprise while wondering what had made her produce such a sound and envying her complete innocence.

_"If only I could be like you and not have to give a crap about anything..."_

* * *

Grandma Chun-ja came into the living room while the episode was reaching it's climax. She saw Gwang-hee trying to climb her brother and was quick to pick up the girl and subsequently give Glenn some long-awaited relief.

The elderly woman soon noticed what was on television and froze.

"What are you watching, grandson? It looks suspicious..."

"Dragon Ball-Z?" He answered reluctantly while consoling himself with the likelihood that she wouldn't be familiar with modern popular culture.

She raised her eyebrows and he knew that his assumptions were wrong.

"That Japanese propaganda? Turn the television off now!"

"What? It's just a cartoon!"

"Just do as I say!"

"No!" He firmly refused while grabbing the remote control.

"Grandson, you don't understand! The Japanese are the most entitled and scheming people in the world! They know how to make their enemies weak and this is how they do it!"

"What, you're not making any sense!"

"They make cartoons, so that American children will think their culture is great!"

 _"God, no wonder people thought you were a Communist..."_ Glenn could only think as the show's credits began and he finally handed over the remote control in fear.  _"You've got the craziness of a dictator..."_


	10. Seoul Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter focuses less on Glenn and more on his Dad's past.

**1971**

"Hey, hey! Look! There's that teacher I told you about!" Thirteen-year-old Dong-ho exclaimed excitedly, jostling his younger brother in the shoulder for attention.

Dong-geun looked in the direction that his older brother was pointing. He forgot all about their mother's presence as he noticed the pretty woman out purchasing eggs.

She had the pale skin of someone who frequently spent their time indoors, which suggested that her family was quite well-off and did not have to exert themselves very much.

The way she wore her hair long and straight also set her apart from the ladies whom painstakingly maintained their perms.

Dong-geun realized he must have been staring for too long when she turned around to notice him and Dong-ho.

She gave them a withering look, prompting them to hurriedly duck behind their mother and arouse the woman's irritation.

"You two are right little demons! I ought to send you both straight to the army when you come of age!"

* * *

**1979**

Ten different dishes laid out on the table was the result of his mother and aunt spending a whole afternoon cooking.

The two women now sat beside their respective husbands, while Dong-geun tried to ignore the aroma of marinated beef in lieu of awaiting the best time to speak.

"Dig in already. Don't let it get cold..."

He looked to Dong-ho in uncertainty and the twenty-one-year-old mouthed back words that he couldn't hear over the other conversations.

He glanced around the table at his relatives and swallowed. As the black sheep of the family, it daunted him to say out loud what he'd been thinking for months.

A foot kicked him in the shin underneath the table and he knew it was none other than his brother, urging him to just get it over with.

He took a deep breath and placed his chopsticks down before standing up. His parents noticed and abruptly stopped talking.

"Son, what are you doing? You haven't even touched your rice." His mother spoke up, turning to face him in concern.

"There...there's something I need to say..." He addressed everyone present, including his police officer uncle and younger cousins. "I've considered it for a long time."

"Well, get to the point." His father grumbled impatiently. "Don't waste our time."

"I want to leave."

"Leave? To where?" His mother asked in confusion.

"Somewhere far from here. I can't go on the way you people do."

His cousins gasped in unison before the entire table fell silent and all that could be heard was his aunt's favorite song. He focused again on his brother for solace, while his father's face flushed red with rage.

The man stood up also and slammed his chopsticks hard against the table, prompting his mother to shudder as they bounced away to land on the floor.

"We people?! Are we not good enough for you?!"

"Honey, calm down..."

"No, do you know what the problem is here?! Our son has grown arrogant and believes that nothing is worth his time! Why do you think he is unemployed?!"

"Father, you don't understand!" Dong-geun could only shout back, finding it hurtful that the man could assume such a thing when he'd worked just as hard as anyone else. "It was-"

"You are a lazy, good-for-nothing pig! We all work hard to keep you comfortable and this is what you want to do?! I should kick you out myself! Maybe when you're homeless, you can criticize the government as much as you want!"

One of his cousins began to cry and it was that which finally spurred the other adults into action.

They gathered around his father and coaxed the man into sitting back down, before his mother made another anxious proposal.

"Why don't you enlist in the military? You'll be doing the country a favor, it will give you purpose and there'll still be plenty to eat..."

Dong-geun couldn't stand to hear anymore. He left the table and his father's temper flared up again while he stormed out.

* * *

**1997**

_"Please come back home to visit one day. I am missing you..."_

His brother's handwriting still looked the same after eighteen years old and it was with conflicted feelings that Dong-geun folded up the letter to be read again later.

A faint sound outside prompted him to look out the window at his son fighting over a basketball with a friend. A clear view of the other boy's face led him to guess that they were Chinese, before he let the curtain fall and went on to examining customer receipts.

It was only later that he realized that all of his time at work meant he'd hardly seen his daughter since the day she was born.

He'd been absent a lot when Glenn was a baby but now that a second chance had come, he knew it couldn't be wasted.

He decided to spend just a few minutes in the living room watching her play, though the result was disappointing.

His face must have been an unfamiliar one, for she started to cry the moment he sat down and crawled straight towards his wife.

Nam-seon picked up the eight-month-old and rocked her gently until she calmed down, then turned to look at him with a mixture of amusement and pity.


	11. Don't Forget Me

**Busan, South Korea, 1974**

A fifteen year old Nam-seon walked into the living room carrying the plate of rice cakes she'd helped prepare with her mother earlier in the day. The atmosphere was overwhelmingly solemn as she observed the way her grandmother, father and uncle knelt quietly on the floor.

She knew full well the importance of the occasion and her attention turned to the various dishes arranged upon a lacquer table at the opposite side of the room. Two candles had already been lit and the incense holder between them completed the display.

Four memorial tablets lay side by side in the center of the table and a closer look confirmed that the names of her deceased aunt, grandfather and great-grandparents were inscribed on them.

She had never known any of them in person but bowed her head in respect anyway, before setting the plate of rice cakes down exactly where she'd been told they should go. Once that was done, she took slow and quiet steps out of the room to avoid disrupting the three living adults.

The last thing she noticed was the way her grandmother clasped both hands tightly together and trembled all over, as if the pain of loss still reigned over her body.

She entered the kitchen where Chun-ja sat and wiped sweat off her forehead after a hard day's work.

"Mother, what now?"

Chun-ja turned to make eye contact with her daughter.

"I left two rice cakes over for you to eat, but it's straight to bed after that. We all need to get up early tomorrow to visit your aunt's grave."

* * *

**1998**

Nam-seon placed another spoonful of congee in Gwang-hee's mouth and waited for the one year old to swallow, while her father Young-sik conversed animatedly with Uncle Ki-jung in the next room. Old stories seemed to suggest that Ki-jung had been the mischief to Young-sik's responsibility as a child, though the way they spoke to each other now lead her to wonder whether the shared ordeal of losing a sister had bridged most differences between them.

She'd asked Young-sik twice during adolescence about the sort of person Baek Young-ja had been. Both times, he'd described her late aunt as a diligent and bright girl whose sudden death at age sixteen had haunted his mother Myung-sook for life.

A look at her own daughter was enough to make Nam-seon hope that she would never come to experience such pain as well. It terrified her to think of all the hard work and love that went into raising a child, suddenly being rendered meaningless by an unforeseeable event like what had happened with Young-ja.

She lifted Gwang-hee carefully out of the high chair after feeding was over and held the little girl tight on the way to the bathroom for another diaper check. It frightened her to think that despite the chance of getting caught up in war being slim these days, there were so many other things that could ruin or take away a young woman's life, such as drugs, violent men or deadly car accidents.

Gwang-hee seemed to sense her mother's fear while sitting on the bathroom bench and began to look sad. She opened her large black eyes even wider before extending a tiny hand forward to touch Nam-seon's cheek, as if she wished to offer comfort.

"Umma..."

* * *

A knock on the door prompted Glenn to hurriedly remove his headphones and shove them underneath his pillow along with the Walkman, before straightening up.

"Who's there?" He asked in as polite a tone that he could muster.

"It's your Dad. Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure..."

The door slowly swung open and Dong-geun entered while looking quite unsure of himself. Glenn let his gaze wander down towards the old shoebox in his father's hands.

"What's in there?"

"A present for you."

"What?"

Dong-geun sat down on the bed beside Glenn, the act of which made the latter wonder in suspicion why his father had become so lax recently. It was a disconcerting thing, after all.

"I know that you like listening to pop music very much, so I went to Koreatown yesterday to find something modern."

He opened up the shoebox to reveal five cassette tapes arranged side by side. He took one of them out and held it out so that Glenn could observe the case. The cover depicted a young woman wearing large sunglasses that completely obscured her eyes.

"This singer is Kim Wan-sun. The album is called 'Pierrot Smiles at Us'."

"Pierrot? Is that some French word?" Glenn asked incredulously.

"I don't know. Maybe if you listen to the music, you'll know what it means."

"Well, okay..." Glenn replied as he looked down at the other cassettes then back up at Dong-geun. "I just have one question."

"Go ahead, ask me."

"Well, Dad...is there a reason you're being so nice to me now? It feels weird..."

Dong-geun's eyes widened in surprise before he abruptly stood up.

"I can't explain it without showing you something else first."

He headed for the door and beckoned, but Glenn was reluctant to follow.

"Alright, you can just stay there. I'll bring it here myself..."

* * *

Dong-geun laid the open folder out on the bed so that Glenn could see clearly the black-and-white photograph of a family that comprised of four adults and four seated children.

"This boy..." Dong-geun began, pointing to the shorter of the two teenagers in the picture. "...is me. The other is my brother Dong-ho. Your uncle."

He then shifted his finger to the middle-aged couple standing behind the younger him.

"These are my parents. They were very strict because they wanted both of us to do well in life, but it only worked for my brother. All I became was angry and defiant."

Glenn resisted the urge to say that little had changed in that regard and instead kept his mouth shut as a way of being respectful.

Dong-geun turned the first sleeve in the folder over to show Glenn two more photos arranged opposite each other. The first one was of a smartly dressed man sitting at an immaculate desk, while the second showed a young woman leaning casually against a bridge railing in what appeared to be a park.

"That's your uncle now. He is a lecturer at the University of Seoul. The woman over here is my cousin Eun-jung. She studied in Japan and now has permanent residency there."

Glenn observed the appearances of both relatives and noticed how polished they looked compared to his parents. He could guess now what point Dong-geun was trying to make.

"I want you to go far in life, but I realize now that you're like me. Pushing you hard will only make you more rebellious."

Glenn swallowed nervously and averted his eyes in an attempt to hide the embarrassment that stemmed from hearing such words. He needed to change the subject fast before the situation got too awkward.

"So, if that's the case, does that mean you'll go easy on Stephanie when she's older?"

It worked and Dong-geun was indeed caught off-guard enough by such a question to lose his previous train of thought. He paused for a few seconds to think deeply.

"Of course not." He soon replied. "She's a girl. That means she'll be like your mother or grandmother."


End file.
